As I gaze at the dark sky,
Myriad stars are scintillating!
I know you both are there,
Having a great time discussing love for the country,
I miss you both…

Location: Rajavolu, near Rajahmundry, Andhra Pradesh
Date: 08/24/2019
Place: My home

Hello, I am Susheela, 61 years old. I am sitting with my three-year-old grandson Ram, gazing at the dark sky. He has numerous questions about his father and grandfather and the conversation is always insightful. He reminds me of them every moment in my life. It’s the place where I was born and raised. I still cherish my childhood spent around this home.

My father was a bank manager who always believed in “Vidwaan sarvatre pujyathe.” He taught me the same and encouraged me to read many books as he was also a vivid book reader. Reading books from childhood has spurred me to pursue my studies in the literature. I completed my Bachelor’s in the English Language with a specialization in Phonetics from Andhra University.

I still remember when I was reading the book “War and Peace” by Leo Tolstoy, my father came back from work and gave me some advice: “Write your feelings in a journal when you read something. Now I am there for you to share your thoughts. But as you grow, it’ll become more difficult to share your thoughts with people. At least share your thoughts with yourself.”. I did not understand what it meant at that time. But now I realized it very well. As I grew up, I saw people being very narrow-minded and not respect others’ opinions. So, I cultivated a habit of writing my views on everything I read in a journal and kept it with me wherever I went. I still have those with me, preserved carefully. And to my surprise, it helped me too. If you want to know more about how it helped, I welcome you into my life’s journey and will guide you through it.

Welcome aboard!

After I finished my Bachelor’s, my father encouraged me to pursue a Master’s degree. One morning, while I was writing an application for the same, a conversation changed my life. My father’s friend came from Visakhapatnam, and he inquired about my studies and plans. Then, he asked my opinion about the Indian Army. I was 21 years then, and I spoke about the Indian Military prowess and their love for the country. I read many books about wars, and my instinct made me talk continuously without a pause.

My father interrupted me and asked me to help my mother with cooking. Then, I left for the kitchen but overheard their conversation. My father’s friend requested my hand for his son, who is in the Indian Army, and my father felt a little discomfort to answer his friend without considering my opinion. All of a sudden, I ran to his friend and said, “Let’s perform the marriage!”. My father repeatedly asked me to think about it as I am still young and not mature enough to decide. Then I said only one thing that made my father say “Yes” and left him with no option. “A man who is ready to die for the country and its people whom he never met, spoken to just out of love. Wouldn’t I be proud to be his wife and you a proud in-law?”. I married him the same year.

My better-half, Sriram, is indeed the greatest gift in my life. Like his name, so is his character, so are his dealings.

After marriage, we flew to Hyderabad, and I had a surprise as soon as I landed. Many people from the Military came to receive us. Most of them did not know Telugu and so addressed me as “Bhabhi (Sister-in-law).” It was the first time I met real jawans, and I was exuberated and proud to be amongst them going forth. A big gathering was arranged later, and my husband introduced me to his colleagues and their families. The first week, I was at home, settling and organizing my stuff in the new home. The house and community seemed like a giant palace.

One day my husband asked me if I am interested in doing a job or pursue further education. I told him that I want to do a Master’s, and he agreed. I finished my Master’s.

A couple of months later, I became pregnant with my first son. I spent the first three years with the newborn by staying at home and looking after him. We named him “Viswanath.” He was such an amazing and curious boy, and we jocularly would say, “He’ll be a scientist.” Once he started going to school, my husband asked me if I wanted to do a job as he felt I would be bored being at home. I told him that I wanted to look after our son and was not interested in doing a job.

Sriram happened to see my journal one day and felt very inspired by my thoughts. One day, he arrived in a motor vehicle and asked me to come out. He taught me how to drive. I did not understand his motive. After a month, he gave me an address, which was 2 KM from our home, and asked me to go. I did not understand but obeyed. When I reached the address, there was a huge library with publications on diverse subjects. I was overwhelmed by seeing such a vast collection. He asked me to go to the library after our son goes to school. He quoted the same quotation that my father always quoted, “Vidwaan sarvatre pujyathe,” and books are the best friends. I was glad that he understood my love for reading. I started reading many books and maintained a journal as advised by my father. I happened to read many works by great authors and had my opinions documented.

Five years later, our second son “Srinath” was born, and my life became busy spending time and taking care of them. Time just flew by so fast.

Sriram had very high hopes for Viswanath. He wanted him to join the Army and serve the country, but Viswanath had different plans. Viswanath wished to pursue higher studies by going to the USA, and Sriram was against it. Viswanath was very adamant about his decision. This stubborn nature runs in their blood, and once they decide, they neither listen nor care for anyone. Finally, Viswanath flew to the USA and did his masters, and started working as a Scientist. My second son followed his father and joined the Army.

Happiness and good things filled my life but did not last long.

One day, Srinath came home, and he asked both of us to sit and listen to him. He told us that he met a girl in his friend’s marriage and wanted to marry her. I asked him what the problem was. We will go and speak to her parents. Then my husband interrupted me, and his first question was, “Is she Hindu?”. The answer was “No.” My husband said we could not go ahead with the alliance. I was surprised by his decision. But he was adamant and did not want to discuss it. He avoided the conversation every time that I brought it up.

After two months, I thought it was time to break the ice and come to the point. As my husband was avoiding the conversation, I wrote a letter that reads as below:

“In this country, there is only one person who dies for the country and its people. He does not care what race, a religion he is protecting and is also ready to sacrifice life. He dies because he loves his country and its people. That is what makes a soldier different from the millions of people in this country. You are a soldier, and it’s your duty not to differentiate people by race, religion, or creed.

I married you because your profession is so noble, sacred, and no one can compete with you for your love and sacrifice for the country.

JAI HIND.”

I put the letter on the table and left. The next minute Sriram called me, and for the first time in his life, he said, “Yes, you are correct. We should not discriminate against people by any means. Let’s go and talk to her parents. By the way, what is her name?.”

I told Sriram that her name is Neelima, and we went to her house in Mumbai. Her parents were against the marriage, and they hate for their daughter to get married to a soldier. But I called Neelima and asked one question. “Do you trust my son?”. She said more than anyone in this world. After two months, their parents agreed half-heartedly, and they got married. I simply thought, “Who cares if they agreed half-heartedly?”.

The next year, my husband passed away. My elder son Viswanath asked me to come to the USA and stay with them for a change. He was married and had a three years old daughter, and her name was Ramya. I went to the USA with Viswanath, and their house was huge. It was winter, and I put a blanket around myself all the time despite the heater being on.

I met Dave, his neighbor, for the first time. He was of the same age as my son and very energetic, charismatic, and outspoken. The first problem I had was to understand their accent. I could not understand the accent and avoided meeting new people. I spent time with my granddaughter for the first month.

One day Dave visited our home, and I was alone with my granddaughter. He asked Ramya if I speak English. Ramya responded, saying with pride, “My grandma completed her Master’s in English.” He smiled and asked me my name. I told him, “Susheela,” which he could not pronounce. He started pronouncing it “Sushi,” “Sheela.” I said, “If you cannot pronounce my name fully, please don’t call my name.” He smiled and left. Sometimes I felt very bored and used to call my son to speak. He would tell me, “Amma, everything will be OK. It’ll take some time to adjust.” So, his friends and colleagues heard him address me as “Amma” and started calling me “Amma” as they could not pronounce my name.

One day, Dave asked my son what the meaning of “Amma” is, and Viswanath told him it means “Mother.” Dave felt happy and called me “Amma.” He invited me to visit his house sometime.

One evening, I went to Dave’s home with Ramya. His house was big, and there was a Library too. On glancing at the books, I asked him, “Do you read books?”. His reply was “Yes,” and he told me that he works with many international publishers. He looked at me and asked, “Amma! You seem to know all these books. Have you read them before?”. I said, “Yes,” and he started asking questions about different books and author styles. I have my opinion on different author styles, and I expressed my views and opinions. It was the first time someone asked my views on what I read. Our discussions went for an hour, and Ramya felt bored. So, I left home.

One morning Dave came to our home along with his girlfriend Elizabeth and introduced her to me. Then he said, “Amma! Elizabeth is researching authors and their mindsets and how their mindsets have influenced their writings. I thought it would be useful for her to speak with you. Because you have more knowledge about the authors who are not alive, and it’ll help her research too”. I felt overwhelmed and said, OK, to help her.

I helped her for some time, and during discussions, I got a chance to speak with her team members. Slowly, I made new friends who were interested in learning what I knew. I was invited to their university to discuss different authors, which gave me a chance to speak on local TV shows. Slowly I have become popular in the neighborhood. My father would have already known that this day would come in my life and encouraged me to read books and write my opinions.

Viswanath acquired citizenship in the USA and sponsored Green Card for me. After two years, I got my Green Card.

Dave met me with a proposal. Here is what he came up with: since he has relationships with many international publishers, they needed someone to read and review their books and criticize. For every review I complete, they would pay me. I thought it’s an excellent time to focus on my career since all my responsibilities as a mother are over. I agreed to the proposal. So, to be paid, I had to start a company on my own, and suddenly, I became an entrepreneur. I have never dreamt that this day would come in my life.

Slowly I overcame the loss of Sriram, and when my life was going on fine, another incident happened that shook me very hard. The most painful event in my life. My son Srinath was shot dead by enemies while he was guarding the border, and I immediately rushed to India. Neelima is now six months pregnant with their son, and looking at her, I thought I have to regain my strength, so I controlled my emotion and tried to console her. It was tough dealing with my life partner’s loss and now dealing with my son’s loss. After staying a month, I asked Neelima about her plans. She mentioned she would go to her mother’s place in Mumbai and stay there. I asked her to keep in touch and left for the USA.

Every day, Neelima called and updated me about her life and other matters. She seemed to be recovered and comfortable, staying at her parents’ home. After three months, my grandson was born, and he was named Ram. That was the happiest occasion in our lives after Srinath’s loss. I flew to India and spent some time there and came back. Dave got me a new laptop and introduced me to website usage, emailing, and blogging. I published my journal in my blog and got many subscribers to my blog from different countries. I started making money with blogging and reviewing books. Viswanath was amazed and, at the same time, was asking me to slow down as it would impact my health. He thought I needed to relax. But how can I? It’s time God has given me to prove myself. I started giving guest lectures and started the podcast too. I was busy for two years.

One day, I received a small box from India, and I opened it. It was the belongings of my second son Srinath, and he put my address on this box. In that, there is one letter that he wanted to post. The letter said Neelima had differences with her parents causing her a major trauma when pregnant. Her doctor said it would have an impact on the baby. The baby might get Autism, so it is necessary to stay with the baby until it reaches 2-3 years and spend time in activities that help the baby’s brain grow. So, Neelima will quit her job and stay home to look after the baby once born. The letter also mentioned that Neelima got an acceptance letter from Stanford University for her Masters in Artificial Intelligence. But she would not go now as she is pregnant.

Towards the end of the letter, Srinath asked if I could stay with them during the baby’s initial years to support and help get Autism away. Suddenly, Ram was in my thoughts, and I started to think about the action plan. For a week, I was in an indifferent mood.

A week later, Dave came to our house casually and found out from Ramya my dilemma on the action plan. He said, “Amma! I have a solution. You can follow it if you like. You work on the internet, and I will help you set up everything in India. You can stay there and spend time with Ram. When things get settled, you can come back. Even Elizabeth and I were thinking of staying in India to write a book on temples and architecture. We will come with you as this is a great opportunity to come to India and do some research. If possible, send Neelima to Stanford University to complete her Master’s, and you take care of Ram for those two years. We will also support you”. The solution seemed reasonable. I told Viswanath, and he did not like the idea of starting a new life in India.

After a week, Ramya came to me and said, “You need to go to India. I am grown up and can take care of myself. But Ram is still small, and he would like to stay and play with you. You can cook food, prepare delicacies for him like you always did for me. I will stay fine”. The same night, I had a dream where my husband ordered me to go to India in his style:” Viswanath did not care about his country, and Srinath died protecting the county. We should support Srinath’s family. So, don’t wait. Go back to India and stay in Rajavolu.” I woke up with a determined mind that I am going back. Before leaving for India, I sent an email to Stanford University explaining the circumstances and consider Neelima for the Master’s that she did not apply for after getting an invitation for two years. I made my arrangements and went to India.

I went to Mumbai and asked Neelima to come with Ram and stay with me in Rajavolu. We went back to Rajavolu and rented a house. After two months, Dave and Elizabeth came to India, and they purchased a home and set up an office for me. One day I received an email from Stanford University, they would consider my request only if Neelima joins that Fall. I spoke with Neelima about this, and we had many discussions. Finally, she agreed to pursue her Master’s, and Ram was my responsibility.

Ram asked me about Dave and Elizabeth, and I told him that they are his paternal uncle and aunt. He had a question about one thing: their complexion and why they are white. Do they have some allergies? I would laugh at his doubts. I took him to the specialist in Hyderabad, and the doctor said there were no symptoms of Autism, and he has completely recovered. He is very normal, and his brain development is good. Every day, I spent time with Ram from Morning to Evening. I ensured his playtime included physical activities that made him play a lot to sleep early in the evening. I would then take a nap till night. Then speak with Neelima, Ramya and, work for some time and sleep again till morning.

With the support of some youngsters, I started a small school where they teach vocational education to children and raised funds for the same. I got many responses worldwide through my blog subscribers, and I have created a trustee for the funds.

Today, Ram asked about his Grandfather and Father as he never saw them. Questions about what food they like, color, and so on. Now, he is sleeping, and I am looking at the sky, hoping one of the stars is my husband and another one is Srinath, and they are watching us from the sky.

My life had many turning points, ups and downs. Now I would live and stay with Neelima and Ram till my last breath. I am a proud mother and wife of a soldier, and as my husband, son loved the country and its people, I continue the tradition till I die. I have decided I will never go back to the USA.

My story is about an ordinary woman who has started life as an innocent girl from a small village in India to becoming an entrepreneur from the USA. And yes, it was quite an extraordinary journey.

Remembering the pledge, we used to narrate in our school,
“India is my country, and all Indians are my brothers and sisters.
I love my country, and I am proud of its rich and varied heritage.
I shall always strive to be worthy of it.
I shall give my parents, teachers, and all elders respect
and treat everyone with courtesy.
To my country and my people, I pledge my devotion.
In their well-being and prosperity alone lies my happiness.”

JAI HIND.
Susheela